QUITE PLACE

I just need some more time to pass in between my last message sent and this overwhelming, and highly revealing, quiet space, to regain my sense of personal pride. This distance is leaving me cold while decreasing your relevance. The hard to believe part is that I still need to convince myself about the meaning of this interval, this interruption. I still have to translate these irrefutable facts into a language, the one the heart speaks, my heart. Yours is probably just fine, it risked and gave nothing still got, I dare to say, plenty in return, though it did not last long, the feeling has been quite uneven. Me trying to understand your everyday drama, me cuddling your cold skin, me providing company, me offering appreciation, natural admiration, though you are the kind of despaired artist that I don’t get, and, ultimately, skinny dipping in the sea,my sea, my waters, my very welcoming reception into my temple. Yes, today my body gains a sacred distinction, for it feels profaned as what gets taken for granted must. At the end, it is me left with the odd feeling and, yet again, wondering how I, again, got myself there, here, where I stand, empty handed, and also empty of wishes, and desires. Apparently, I have lost a battle, my lack of competitive drive leaves me with no feedback, however, somehow, my brain does like to keep me entertained. Suddenly I remember the pod of dolphins I was lucky to spot from the deck of the boat today and how that made my day, over all, quite magical and random. Now, I hope for that extraordinary boost to help me feel less spent, less tired, of trying, of first encounters followed by a mere handful, and of the midnight hours hunger, inclination, eagerness, flesh lust and fascination.

Quite space. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book.

YOU’LL MEET A TALL PALE STRANGER

I write novels, he said. I write short-stories, said she. Well, that is also fine, replied he, a patronizing clumsy tall pale male standing in front of her, giving the impression of embodying a degree of hope for success in the business of inspiring some attraction and interest with his unfortunate display of efforts. She looked away with her eyes narrowed and a closed grin, are you for real, was the thought making her mind laugh. Apparently, he was. He proceeded by seriously suggesting going for a walk some day and went away with his clumsy ways. She looked at the sea, at the waves, the geese, the seagulls, the Jacob’s staircase, and allowed herself to be fascinated by nature’s beauty and nurturing balance. The take and give, the here and now, the then and there. Her feet dipped in the sand, her toes getting wet. Her back on the ground, she faces the sun with her arms stretched out and the palms of both hands down, her fingers exploring the newly born morning dew moisture, playing to get lost in the crispy green grass in this fine and random Sunday blast with a tall pale stranger and his clumsy ways delivered with a tender look in his sweet pale blue eyes.

You’ll meet a tall pale stranger. Short story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book.

AMY, AMY, AMY


I often find myself talking to Amy, I listen to her and my answer is underlined in the way I embrace her voice through my presence, the physical and the other, and I think on the time we met, or our lives crossed paths, more like. You excused yourself politely while approaching the bar with your tiny delicate body close to mine. You asked for salt, for your toothache, you said, and I wondered if that was indeed an old-fashioned trick, something you might have learned back home, before you belonged to all of us and the world. While you made your way through, I remained seated on that tall stoel with a very tiny dress I would only wear that day, for I have never again been that skinny as I was back then. In the time when scrutiating pain filled up my whole self, pushing out any coherent sense. It was indeed a high pitched tragedy. To feel my empty breasts, like empty bags, hanging by my chest, like barometers of my confussion and lonelyness. I heard we were following each others steps, swinging from bar to bar with our tiny bodies in our tiny apparels. I, annonimously and you, under the brightness of the spotlight and the gossip. I stared, without the etiquette and manners I so often lack, at you, wondering if it was worthy to go that far, to get lost in the dark where one finds the inspiration for the heart-moving art, despite our benefit and joy, while you struggled and despared. In my ideal world we all seat in a bar with a Martini on one side and a coffee table book on the lap, and you and I, smile every time we cross paths. Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy.

Amy, Amy, Amy. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book.

IN ANOTHER LIFE WHEN WE ARE ALL CATS


Drugs through the needle are to be avoid but no one warned me about the dangers of the little vibrating device I hold in my hand. I was not told that once you get started it is quite hard to stop. Dosification and moderation are key to a healthy, balanced life, getting to know my drinking limit and leveling down the amount of sugar turned out not to be enough. Laying down on my back as I look out and up to the sky, nothing is more hot and sexy that nature, the wind blowing, travelling through the swinging trees, feels so inviting to launch on this free skydiving trip. I forget I’m on my kitchen floor, by the balcony’s glass door, wide open so I can hear the birds. The subtle buzz gets my mood right on and wanderlust builds up, girlscout prepared embarking on the vogage up towards pitch high. Hanging on a thin string with my fingertips for as long as I can bare, it’s at times difficult to handle, specially whilst my body and mind discuss back and forth whether this is the best I can do to relax or should I rather take a cold bath in the aim to simmer the flickering flame of desire. Am I as greedy in other aspects of life, I doubt that. Overall invasion of electric shocks and then, one, is never enough, neither is two. How many treasures can I find, before I run out. Out of power, energy and any conscious thought. An innanimated flesh mass until I regain my strength again, and my will power to get up on my feet, and on with the day. Wondering if everybody feels the same, if we all have this need for attachment through this delightful inner convulsions and extraordinary high voltage charges to our brain. And if so, how come it is not easier to get, how come I need a device to get me there. In another life, when we are all cats, we might just be able to get smoothly close to one another, and ever so gently, touch with the back of our heads the shoulder of the ones we prefer and explore this free love of the hippies and the sixties affair.

In another life when we are all cats. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book

LIPSTICK RED


The red on my lips helps me stay grounded, less ethereal. It keeps my mind sharp and aware of the bondage to my body. I study the mark it leaves on my glass as irrefutable proof of interaction. I will aim to drink from that same spot every time I quench my thirst, my body’s and my own. Thirst for the flavour, for the experience of this artistic expression on liquid form. Thirst for the taste and appreciation of a skilful creation in the search of perfection on a balanced, complex enough, exciting libation. With my red landmark I reiteratively stamp my approval as I curate the delicacy in my glass. With this kiss I relate to celebrations that have taken place in the past. With this motion I am in the room with Joséphine, Anne, Tamara, Hedy, Marilyn, Diana, Amy, and my neighbour next door, for we are all queens of our own kin, and the Physics that procure analysis on the behaviour of time still run jealously behind on this attempt to comprehen the bond within the female kind.

Red Lipstick. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book

THIS IS THE LIFE

Watering the plants this morning, she thought, this is the life, while she felt domesticated and bored. She doesn’t get served by the table as often and she cleans after herself almost wherever she goes. Holds nobody’s hand as she walks. The space in between shows elegance and respect of a sort. We are, oh, so very polite. Casually unattached we celebrate our independence. Social status defined by the amount of plastic served in layers between her fingers and her meal, the things she eats. Stromatolites stripped of their ‘X’ factor, we are better than our very own source of existence, haven’t you heard. Back to the high stool where she finds herself now, in this brown pub, surprisingly full of plenty inspiring offers, she sips from her glass. With her fingers she untangles the knots in her hair, the ones she gets since she bathes by the sea only, no soap just salt; and seaweeds, and jellyfish. She smells a thread she is just freed, timidly tasting with her tongue, the flavour saltier than the brine seasoning her, now almost finished, elaborated libation. What a delight, she thought. The man seated on the closest seat will not talk to her, that much she already knows. He finds himself busy with a new best friend glued this days to many people’s ears and brains. A part of her wants to feel sad about it but another part does not get why. Instead, she focuses her emotional vacancy infused efforts on the music she hears, first, on the background, and soon, high volumed all around. The bartender had noticed her fingertips following the notes, tip-top, tip-top. The seventies rock folk sure knew how to communicate the sensuality in the air, understood plant-based in a different way. A whole lot of love ever did no one any wrong. Caressing the surface of the bar with her hands, she mused over her plants back home growing strong. This is the life, she thought.

This is the life. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book

DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH P. N.

Don’t fall in love with Paolo Nutini and the like. Though I have never met this particular man, I can already tell it is highly un-recommendable. To fall for confessions, served with luke warm words, about past adventures hurting his heart, where you will like to reside. You are different you will not leave him astray, damaged on the side of the way. By a carnivore plant designed to attract, trap and catch, I’m being devour alive. When it hurts, celebrate, I say. Uncork the bubbles, put on that dress Lana wears so well, and dance. Drink and dance. Plant-based has good fastfood options as well. I got a playlist, liked songs from the net, randomly switching as I shake it off. The Cremant in the fridge was waiting for me. Aren’t Wednesdays the best of days to let down your hair and listen to how others suffered as well, fell in love, broke up, got together again. I’m not old but I’m too old for this. You don’t know anything about me and your sole feverish attraction is purely based on the idea itself, isolated and disengaged of personification, and it’s our creative nature to blame. In my head I’m very smart, I talk algebra, chemistry, there’s a philosopher, Gilbert, living inside, and, easy or not, one has to let go to get by. Conversations in my mind are my real joy, the treats to my days, I understand the world, us, the universe and life itself. The quality of my sight is defined by the amount of light out there. Through my chest I answer to myself, in morse coded verses, an invisible hand is squeezing the blood pumping organ that takes care of my health. Short and long clutches assembled in threes, as it was done by the marines. I play no instrument of the musical kind but the keyboard in my hand connected to my calling device writes the stories I will tell and share with the hope that, when read, others got to sing and dance as well. When it hurts, sing and dance, be bulletproof, I say.

Don’t fall in love with Paolo Nutini. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book.

SAND CASTLES

In the realm of the brain we punish ourselves for the doings of our, much under appreciated, biological setting. If we could only just be kinder to our irremediable nature. Walk hand to hand with our deepest desires, the relatable and the obscure, careless to how much our fellow warriors are willing to endorse, for to some of us that might as well compare to an apocalypse of the zombies affair. No license to lust. So my fellow fighters in this crusade for survival can justify the lack of action within the paragraphs of their very own un-satisfaction. Can we blame ordinary life? I can’t help by wonder about the unfairness of the proposition. Life is life, wonderfully raw, tough life. And then, there are our decisions, our standing by the fork of a path unwilling to move nor left neither right, for nothing is meant to remain still. As the plants grow, the rocks give into erosion and the water turns into clouds, and consequently, ever so gently, purple rain falls. We have landed here to feel and decay, hopefully with grace. One apple a day keeps the doctor away. Stretching, drink water, sunscreen. I find it easier to care for you unconditionally now that you are gone and live in my head at one arm’s length. Right where you are, I freely adore you and our history, with its subjective lenght. I use it all at convenience, my own, now that you are a two dimensional colour in my imagination where we are both very kind, building sand castles by the forever erosioning coastline. 

Sand castles. Short-story from 12 o’clock-tales and after hours thoughts. The book